77 Acts 20:36-38 Love and Honor

April 13, 2025

Christopher C. Freeman

Title: Love and Honor Text: Acts 20:36-38 FCF: We often struggle having a good relationship between leaders and followers. Prop: Because the relationship of the Elders to the church must be one of love and honor, we must devote ourselves to love and honor one another. Scripture Intro: [Slide 1] Turn in your bible to Acts chapter 20. In a moment we’ll read from the Legacy Standard Bible starting in verse 36. You can follow along in the pew bible or whatever version you prefer. Over the last couple of weeks, we have had longer sermons covering Paul’s final exhortation to these Ephesian Elders. So, this week I am giving you a break and a chance to digest everything before we celebrate easter next week. This will certainly be a shorter sermon, but there are still many things we can glean from this text. Last week Paul concluded his thoughts toward the Elders of Ephesus. He serves as their template and commands them to shepherd the flock of God well. His last words express a great truth spoken by Jesus Himself, it is more blessed to give than to receive. They must be givers, spending themselves for the sake of the flock which God purchased with the blood of Christ. What follows is the response. What does Paul do after saying all these things, and what do the Elders do after hearing all these things? In this we see a pattern emerge. Just as Paul is a Pastor to these Pastors, so his example and their example serves as a pattern for our Elders and our church to follow. Let us stand to give honor to and to focus on the reading of the Word of God. Invocation: Most gracious Father, we thank You for sending Your Son, our Great Shepherd. He laid down His life for His sheep. He knows His sheep. His sheep hear His voice. He prayed… not for the world, but for all those lambs whom You gave to Him. He protected them. He Loved them. He made them vessels of honor. Now Father, Your Spirit has appointed undershepherds to continue shepherding while Christ is physically absent from us. We know that Jesus is always with us, but we also know that the Spirit is now our comforter and counselor and that He has equipped men called Elders to shepherd your precious lambs. May we be grown in this text to be a church who holds the right relationship between these Spiritually appointed men and those whom they have been given to shepherd. May we have a ministry where mutual love and honor is given to each other. Show us this in Your Word today we ask in Jesus’ name… Amen. Transition: [Slide 2] Throughout all of God’s creation, there are several examples of relationships He has made that are symbiotic. For instance, clownfish dwell inside sea anemones which protects them from predators while living there, the clown fish cleans the anemone of parasites. Remora fish attach themselves to sharks and whales eating scraps of food from when their host eats. In exchange they clean the shark or whale of parasites. Bees collect nectar from flowers pollenating and reproducing the plant in the process. These animals need each other to survive. The very first humans were created to be two halves of the image of God. It could be said that Husbands and Wives need one another in a symbiotic relationship of sorts. Today we will see that this entity God created called the church is also in a symbiotic relationship. The Elders and the church exist in a symbiotic relationship of mutual love and honor – because neither can exist without the other. At least not for long. Let’s look at this relationship as it is displayed in the epilogue of this meeting between Paul and the Ephesian Elders. I.) The relationship of the Elders to the church must be one of love and honor, so Elders must pray for the church. (36) a. [Slide 3] 36 - And when he had said these things, i. Because we had to divide Paul’s final exhortation message into two, it would behoove us to review even for a few minutes what Paul said. ii. The text this morning provides to us this opportunity, as it references that everything that follows is after he said what he said. iii. First Paul walked them through his own personal example among them. iv. How he was humble and gave of himself through many tears and trials to teach them all that God had revealed through Christ and calling all men to repentance and faith. v. In the same way they needed to be blameless and do the work of an Elder to share the gospel and teach thoroughly all that God had revealed. vi. Second, Paul charged them to dutifully and diligently shepherd the church. He told them to do this because the church has been given infinite value in the blood of Christ and because false teachers are coming who will destroy them. vii. And since they had received freely from God and from him, they must give of themselves freely, even to the point of supporting those who are destitute among them. Teaching them and encouraging them so they can be givers and not just takers. viii. Because as Jesus said, it is more blessed to give than to receive. ix. After Paul said all this… he continues to instruct them as to what kind of Elders they should be, but he does so by demonstration. b. [Slide 4] he knelt down and prayed with them all. i. The final component of what it means to be an Elder, is to be a man of prayer. ii. In a sign of humility, Paul kneels down and prays with them. iii. This probably means that Paul knelt first to pray and that they joined with him. iv. Luke does not give us the content of his prayer, but I don’t think it is a stretch to assume that his prayer consisted of both praises to God and also deep and tearful pleas for God to preserve and protect the ministry in the church in Ephesus. v. That God would guide and lead the Elders and that He would prevent doctrinal error from destroying the unity and the effectiveness of the Ephesian church and the impact they would have on the rest of the province of Asia and beyond. vi. In this he demonstrates how leaders, who are truly caring for the body of Christ, are to be men who spend time in earnest prayer for God’s people. vii. Truly, without God we are nothing. viii. Knowing that they are but undershepherds who do not have all the answers, who are not able to administer and guide of their own strength, being humble and meek, Elders must seek the Lord in all their duties. For it is only by His strength and will that anything accomplished will endure. c. [Slide 5] Summary of the Point: In this final epilogue, ending the 3rd missionary journey of Paul and closing out the mission to the city of Ephesus, we see Paul’s relationship with the Elders through the lens of this final scene with them. After exhorting them and warning them of the challenges which they will face, Paul prays with and for them before he departs. This illustrates for us that the proper relationship between the Elders and the church is one of love and honor. One way that the Elders express love and honor to the church is to pray earnestly for the sake of the church. This shouldn’t be surprising to us. In the book of Acts we saw already how the apostles created the office of Deacon in order to allow themselves the freedom to focus on prayer and the teaching of the Scriptures. Since the office of Overseer inherits several functions of the apostolic gift, we might expect the roles of an Elder to mimic that of an Apostle. And one of those roles on display is to pray for the church. So, we Elders must also pray earnestly for our people. In this we express love for them and honor to them as the flock which God purchased with the blood of His Son. Transition: [Slide 6(blank)] But since this relationship is one of mutual love and honor, what is the role of the church toward the Elders? II.) The relationship of an Elder to the church is one of love and honor, so the church must appreciate their Elders. (37-38) a. [Slide 7] 37 - And they began to weep aloud and falling on Paul’s neck, they were kissing him, i. In the last two verses of chapter 20 we have the general response of the Elders to Paul’s exhortation and closing prayer. ii. All of the Elders present began weeping aloud and falling on Paul’s neck. iii. This is an idiomatic expression for hugging or embracing. iv. Why are they crying so much, hugging and kissing Paul? v. Some of why they were weeping no doubt had to do with the threat of false teaching that was coming to Ephesus. vi. Some of it was due to the great weight being placed on their shoulders to lead like Paul did. vii. Some of it was the revelation that some of them would become false teachers in the future. viii. But the primary reason for their tears is pointed out to us by Luke. b. [Slide 8] 38 - being in agony especially over the word which he had spoken, that they would not see his face again and they were accompanying him to the ship. i. They are weeping because of what Paul suggested to them that they would not see his face any longer. ii. Perhaps they thought this meant that Paul would die soon. I don’t think Paul thought he was going to die, only that he would not enter into ministry with them again before he did. iii. They were hugging him, kissing him, and weeping in agony over this. iv. Just as Paul served as an example to these Elders on how to be Elders. So now, these Elders serve as an example to the church on how to love and honor their Elders. v. Therefore, this is the appropriate response of the congregation to an Elder who has served well and is retiring or is approaching death. vi. The congregation should know what a great gift godly leaders are to their assembly. vii. They should know this to the point of giving honor to those who serve well. Honor, respect, submission and love. viii. We see their love and honor of Paul expressed in their desire to see him to the ship and spend every last second they could with him. ix. Some scholars suggest that “accompanying him to the ship” is an idiom suggesting that these Elders put into practice what Paul had taught them and gave him many provisions for his trip to Jerusalem. x. What an amazing expression of gratefulness for his service to them as an apostle. c. [Slide 9] Summary of the Point: Once again we see that the relationship between the Elders and the church which is illustrated in Paul’s relationship to these Elders, is one of love and honor. These Elders know of Paul’s love and honor for them. In turn, they loved and honored him. As he turns to Jerusalem to face whatever the Lord has in store for him there, the Elders embrace him, kiss him, and provide for him and his journey. This illustrates the church’s love and honor of their Elders by being grateful for them. Elders who serve well are worthy of honor. And those who labor long in leadership and the study of the word are worthy of double honor. Conclusion: So, what have we learned today CBC, and how then shall we live? Doctrinal Takeaway: [Slide 10] Over the last several weeks Paul has been the example that Luke sets before us of what constitutes a godly church leader. We’ve seen how godly church leaders prioritize the spiritual instruction of God’s people. We’ve seen the character qualities an Elder must possess in order to lead, chief among them being blamelessness. We’ve seen that Shepherding God’s flock is the primary role of an Elder which includes both their protection from false teaching by rooting them in truth and also their physical care. And today we pivot slightly to show the mutual relationship of love and honor that ought to exist between the Elders and the church. Elders who are excellent shepherds show love and honor to the church by praying for them and with them. And the church shows love and honor to the Elders by appreciating them and their efforts. But let me express some more tangible applications for us today from this tiny little sermon. 1.) [Slide 11] Mind Transformation: “What truth must we believe from this text?” or “What might we not naturally believe that we must believe because of what this text has said?” We must affirm that the relationship between the Elders and the church should be characterized by love and honor. a. Paul is the Pastor of these Pastors. b. He demonstrates who they should be and what they should do for the church. c. In this sense, we see the mutual relationship of love and honor between the church and their leaders. d. We’ve seen the great care that Paul put into these men. We’ve seen his heart for them, his passion for them, his sacrifice for them. They must go and do the same. e. And if they do, the church should and must respond like these Elders did to Paul. f. The church should show love and honor to them by appreciating their heart, their passion, and their sacrifice as they care for their souls. g. The relationship between our Elders and the church should look like the relationship between a husband and his wife. h. This shouldn’t shock us since the relationship between a husband and wife should look like the relationship between Christ and the church. i. And the Elders are undershepherds and stewards of Christ’s church until He returns for her. j. So in many ways the Elders have responsibilities that Christ would perform if He were here among us bodily. k. But no matter how many years you’ve lived on this earth – it is difficult for us to imagine a form of leadership or government that we could love and honor. l. In fact, it seems like we can pendulum swing far and wide when it comes to our view of leaders. More on that in a moment. m. But the picture that the Bible paints for us concerning the Elders/Pastors or Overseers and the church body itself is one of mutual love, honor, and even dependence. Neither can exist without the other. Elders have nothing to lead if the church is absent and the church is rudderless and disunified when they do not have Overseers. n. As difficult as it may be for us to do so – we must affirm and even seek to have this relationship between the Elders and the church. o. But what are some ways we get this wrong? 2.) [Slide 12] Refutation: “What lies must we cast down” or “What do we naturally believe, or have been taught to believe, that this passage shows is false?” We must deny that Elders must be served without question or treated with constant suspicion. a. In a perverted sense of honor, some churches view their pastors or overseers as leaders who have absolute authority over their lives. i. They obey whatever their Elders say without question as if the Lord Jesus Himself had said it. ii. Now although Elders are undershepherds and do tend the flock of Christ, we do not for one instant consider this flock ours. We know that you all are His, because He purchased you with His precious blood. Why do we know that so well? Well, because He had to purchase us the same way. We are mere sheep. iii. We also have absolutely no authority to command you to do anything except what the Scriptures have said. iv. This does not mean that our advice and counsel is meaningless or should be easily ignored or dismissed – but it does mean that on anything we advise that is not a command of the scriptures, it is at its best wise counsel and not a command. v. For example. 1. The Elders may NOT come together and absolutely forbid a member of the congregation from dating another Christian from a different congregation. Now the Elders may advise, based on what we know of the person, whether it would be wise to enter into a relationship pursuant to marriage with them. But we cannot forbid it. Why? Because we do not have a command from the scriptures. 2. But the Elders may come together and absolutely forbid a member of the congregation from having premarital sex, also known as fornication. Why are the Elders permitted to do this? Because this is what the scriptures teach. We are merely commanding what the scriptures have commanded. 3. Some may say – if that is all that is happening, why must the Elders command anything at all? 4. Well, that is our role! Our role is to preach and teach what the scriptures say. Not just from the pulpit but in the counseling room, in your living room, in your car, over the phone and everywhere where we give counsel, we must give the whole counsel of the Lord. And not just when it is palatable for the church, but in season and out of season too. Whether you are going to like it or not is irrelevant. It is our job to bring to bear all that God has said concerning the situation you are in. 5. We are not adding our authority to scripture but we are drawing your attention to what God has said and we must also be his earthly executives making sure His will is known to all and to a certain degree… followed. 6. You see the Lord has given us (the church) the keys to the kingdom. This means that whatever we bind on earth will have been bound in heaven and whatever we loose on earth will have been loosed in heaven. When two or three are gathered in His name He is with us. Helping us. And when we find a member refusing to obey the commands of God… this is when we execute church discipline. First in private exhortation and correction but eventually in excommunication. 7. The Elders then are to enforce the commands of Christ upon His church. We rebuke, reprove, correct and instruct to thoroughly equip God’s people to do all that He has commanded them to do. And to a certain degree – as much as we are humanly able – we, in gentleness, see to it that Christ’s instructions are followed. b. Another abuse we often have when it comes to leadership is to have a persisting and underlying sense of suspicion and distrust toward them. i. Now certainly I would be a fool to combat this by pretending there is no such thing as ungodly leaders. ii. Of course there is. iii. Not only in the political realm but even in the clergy there have been several examples of leaders abusing their authority and lording over their people. iv. But just because someone is in leadership does not automatically make them worthy of suspicion. v. Elders should be trusted, loved and honored until there is some reason that they have provided to suspect something different. vi. There is no reason to withhold your trust from Elders simply because they are in a position of authority. vii. If the COVID pandemic taught us anything it is that people don’t very much like being told what to do. And they will only go along with being told what to do for so long before they push back. Why? Because people are suspicious of their government leaders – and to be honest, those in government have earned that suspicion. viii. But godly Elders are not the same as government leaders. Especially in a small country church like ours. My friends there is no power here worth manipulating you for. There is no money here worth bilking you out of. And let me tell you something, there are a lot of easier and quieter and more fulfilling ways to gain authority than being an Elder of a church. If I wanted power with few headaches… Elder isn’t the right choice. ix. Don’t be suspicious of your Elders. Especially when they haven’t given you a reason to be. x. What must you do instead? 3.) [Slide 13] Exhortation: “What actions should we take?” or “What is this passage specifically commanding us to do that we don’t naturally do or aren’t currently doing?” The church must love and honor their Elders by being grateful for them and submitting to them. a. Elders who lead boldly, who are godly men, who possess truly blameless character, who are apt to teach, and strong in their faith, should be trusted, loved and honored. b. Putting your trust in Jesus means that you obey Him. The Lord actually says that if you love me, you will keep my commandments. c. And although it is to a different and lesser degree, the Lord makes it plain in Hebrews 13 that if you truly love your Elders, you will submit to their authority so that they may watch over your souls with joy. d. One way you show love to your Elders is by submitting yourself to our authority. i. As I have already said, the Elder’s authority extends only as far as the Scriptures allow. ii. You should trust your Elders and submit to our authority out of a heart of love for us so that we may be joyful in our responsibility to help guide you safely to heaven’s shore. iii. Go willingly and passionately with us. e. Secondly, you show honor to your Elders by being grateful for our wise and godly leadership and teaching. f. How do you show gratefulness? i. Well, in Paul’s case these men fell on his neck, kissed him, and wept over his leaving. They even potentially gave him provisions for his long trip to Jerusalem. I’m not saying that is THE way – I am saying that is what they did. ii. But let me make some suggestions. iii. First, it would be wise to be thankful to the Lord. Express thankfulness to God for wise and godly leadership. Ask for His blessing on our lives and that He would keep us and preserve us in our role. Do this in your family devotions and family worship times to let your children hear that you are thankful for our sacrifice. iv. Second might be to express gratitude to the Elder personally. A card, a phone call, a gift, a strong handshake. Especially when a particular Elder has helped you through a difficult trial or has devoted extra time to your family. It is wise and even obvious to express heartfelt thankfulness to that particular Elder. Let him know that you appreciate his sacrifice for you. Even doing so toward his wife and children. Knowing that they too have had to sacrifice his presence among them so that you could be ministered to. v. Finally, you might express gratefulness publicly. You might pray a prayer of thanksgiving at a family gathering, in a church service, or express a praise during prayer request time. You might make a special service or event to honor our sacrifice and service. g. Let me clear the air really quickly. Every single Elder in this room today has been absolutely squirming at the mention of every single way you could express gratefulness. And I felt REALLY uncomfortable saying it too. h. You need to understand that I am saying this not because I want to, but because the text so obviously leads us to that conclusion. i. The Elders and I, when we met yesterday, did not spend one second complaining about how you all don’t submit to us or how you are an ungrateful bunch and never appreciate our sacrifices. j. Let me read that again. k. The Elders and I, when we met yesterday, did not spend one second complaining about how you all don’t submit to us or how you are an ungrateful bunch and never appreciate our sacrifices. l. I wrote that last sentence the day before we met. That is how confident I was that it wouldn’t happen. And I was right. m. Why was I so confident that we wouldn’t do that? n. Because we don’t do that. o. The reason we are squirming today at the mention of these practical ways you can show your gratitude for us…is because WE DON’T DO THIS FOR YOUR GRATITUTDE. p. Which is exactly the reason you should express your gratefulness to us. q. Ugh – I hate saying it. But it must be said. I am holding my nose up here saying it. r. Show love and honor to your Elders by submitting and expressing your gratefulness to us. s. Yuck! t. Ok moving on. Let’s beat up the Elders now. 4.) [Slide 14] Exhortation: “What actions should we take?” or “What is this passage specifically commanding us to do that we don’t naturally do or aren’t currently doing?” Elders must love and honor the church by praying for her. a. My brothers. b. I have continued my quest this year to pray through our membership directory every week. c. It isn’t enough. I’ve had to add more times of prayer. I’ve had to start praying immediately after hearing a request to make sure that I do actually pray for it before the next week rolls around. d. Understand, I don’t hold myself up as the standard – I am simply giving a testimony of what it has done for me. e. I have grown in my love for these folks over the last couple years and I think that is because I pray for every member by name, every single week. I pray for everything I can think of regarding that member. f. I just walk around this room with my membership directory in hand praying for every name in it. g. Some weeks it takes over an hour to get through. h. I usually do this on Tuesday and hit my 8000 steps by noon. 😊 i. I highly recommend that you do something like this or go beyond my example so that I may follow yours. j. Let us be men who pray often and long for these people. Why? k. Wouldn’t we all agree that all our efforts would be empty but for the power and grace of God behind them? l. Let us love these folks enough to cry out to God on their behalf. Let us intercede for them. Not because they need us to be their intercessor – but because Christ has commanded us to intercede for them. m. And what are we quietly revealing about our hearts when we meet every other week to guide and govern them and have spent little time praying for them and for God’s help to lead them? n. We reveal that we really think we can do it on our own. o. God forbid we truly believe such a lie. p. We are woefully ill-equipped to lead these precious lambs of God. q. We must frequent the Great Shepherd’s home and seek His guidance daily. He knows His sheep. And oftentimes we do not. r. Let us be men who daily intercede on behalf of these dear ones. Not just for their benefit – but also for our own. So that we can constantly remind ourselves that we are not the solution. He is. 5.) [Slide 15] Comfort: “What comfort can we find here?” or “What peace does the Lord promise us in light of this passage of scripture?” When this relationship exists between the Elders and the church, the church thrives. a. When the Elders love and honor the church and the church loves and honors their Elders it forms a perfect symbiotic relationship. b. Just as the husband leaves his family and becomes one flesh with his wife, so also when the Elders are appointed and received by the church they enter into a mutual relationship. c. Now just like a marriage, that relationship can spiral out of control very quickly. When the husband is ungodly or the wife is ungodly or both – the whole thing can come crashing down in terrible fashion. d. But when godly Elders love and honor the lambs of God and when the lambs love and honor their undershepherds, the product of such a union is beautiful and effective. e. Let us be this kind of church. f. Let our Elders be humble, blameless, self-sacrificing and devoted to love and honor the church. g. And let our church be submissive and grateful devoted to love and honor their Elders. h. For if we are this way – God will surely make us effective in His work. [Slide 16 (end)] Let me close with a prayer from the church father Clement of Rome. Ruler and Lord of all, Father and God, guard the shepherd[s] of this flock. You are the cause and the power. You are the helper; we are the ones who need your help. You are the physician, the Savior, and the wall around us. You are the life, the hope, the refuge, the joy, the expectation, and our rest. You are all things to us. We need you in order to be eternally saved. We need you to preserve and protect. You can do all things, for you are the ruler of rulers, the Lord of lords, the governor of kings. Give power to this our leadership to loose what should be loosed, and bind what should be bound. Make our leaders wise, and through them protect the church of Jesus as you would a fair bride. For your glory is forever. In you we offer our praise forever to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In Jesus name we ask this, Amen. Benediction: Peace be to you and love with faith from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible. Until we meet again, go in peace.